question of the day:
why is it someone 'you used to spend hours on end talking to with ease, now you struggle to hold a conversation for more than 30 seconds...
bc I don't understand
Random Fact of the Day:
today, I bought fruit:D and i'm rather excited I just thought you should know.
Poem of the day:
An image. My image.
I stare at an image so serene and clear
It brings water to my eyes, one crystal like tear
Its just a boy and girl, on a path
.I quietly walk behind not daring to pass.
Because as I watch them walk along
I watch her realize he would never do her wrong
.In a moment I finally realize that I’m that girl
With this my complex mind starts to whirlIf that’s me and that’s you.
How am I watching from this point of view
I’m watching from a distance I can’t interrupt
I watch us walk but stop so abrupt
I watch him slowly stroke my face
I want to experience this moment let me stand in my place
His lips slowly part he mouths a some words or two
I listen quietly to hear my simple reply I love you.
And that moment a tear slid down my skin
I realized this happened already I’m reliving it again
I hear my name called. Than followed by pay attention
Just a quick sweet remembrance that failed to mention
The part when we had to utter goodbye
.I watched him walk away through my glazed eyes
.But sure enough the next day he came again
Stared into my eyes. I was lost in him.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Saturday, May 1, 2010
An Accurate Depiction
sooo, this is a story.
That I wrote.
please tell me your thoughts or oppinions, thank you. :)
It was two o’clock in the morning on a Tuesday night and she sat on her tan carpeted floor hardly stirring at all. She sat there alone. It didn’t matter how late it was, she couldn‘t manage to close her eyes and silence the thoughts that pounded inside her head repetitively, long enough to fall asleep. She was exhausted in everyway, physically, emotionally, and mentally. But it didn’t matter she couldn’t sleep. She stared at her clear, still image in that mirror. That mirror that leaned against her wall, With notes and doodles taped along the edges that her and her friends had drawn during the countless hours they spent at school. A paper thin layer of dust covered the reflecting glass. She lifted her arm enveloped in her long dark blue sleeve and wiped it off. Seeing clearer the reflection it held. Did everyone else see what she did? Did they see the reflection before her? She reached out as to touch the person that was displayed before her eyes. Wishing she could change what she saw. If she could just alter it in almost ever way. At this she scooted closer to the mirror that emulated her image. Learning in till her face was only inches away from the mirror. She stared intensely at her own eyes. At what they held. She watched them slowly be covered with a layer of pent up water. Tears that she had been holding back for months. She didn’t ease up her gaze as the water increased and escaped those hazel eyes of hers. She wondered if everyone could see her weakness, hurt, or all that was going on inside of her. She was afraid they could see. That the whole world knew with one quick, simple glance all that she was feeling. Its why she most of the time avoided any eye contact, even those she was closest to. She feared people could see what was stirring with in her. That she was insecure, inept and broken. She was afraid that they could see the secret that developed more with each passing day. She kept looking. Looking into her eyes. That if maybe she looked long, and deep enough they would give some answer to the unrelenting questions as to who she was, and Who she was supposed to be. Neither of these she had an answer too. All she knew was she wanted to change. Wanted to hide the feelings ceiled with in her. The emotions that never let up. As tears streamed down her face and engulfed her eyes. The image she saw before her became imprecise, and blurred. She liked it that way. She couldn’t see herself. It was a more accurate depiction because honestly, she didn’t even know who she was supposed to see. She didn’t know who she was, or who she was meant to be She sat on that tan floor for hours. Tears streaming down her pale skin until her eyes turned bloodshot from the pain, and confusion with in her. She sat in complete silence until the sound of the rain lulled that beautiful lost girl to sleep.
That I wrote.
please tell me your thoughts or oppinions, thank you. :)
It was two o’clock in the morning on a Tuesday night and she sat on her tan carpeted floor hardly stirring at all. She sat there alone. It didn’t matter how late it was, she couldn‘t manage to close her eyes and silence the thoughts that pounded inside her head repetitively, long enough to fall asleep. She was exhausted in everyway, physically, emotionally, and mentally. But it didn’t matter she couldn’t sleep. She stared at her clear, still image in that mirror. That mirror that leaned against her wall, With notes and doodles taped along the edges that her and her friends had drawn during the countless hours they spent at school. A paper thin layer of dust covered the reflecting glass. She lifted her arm enveloped in her long dark blue sleeve and wiped it off. Seeing clearer the reflection it held. Did everyone else see what she did? Did they see the reflection before her? She reached out as to touch the person that was displayed before her eyes. Wishing she could change what she saw. If she could just alter it in almost ever way. At this she scooted closer to the mirror that emulated her image. Learning in till her face was only inches away from the mirror. She stared intensely at her own eyes. At what they held. She watched them slowly be covered with a layer of pent up water. Tears that she had been holding back for months. She didn’t ease up her gaze as the water increased and escaped those hazel eyes of hers. She wondered if everyone could see her weakness, hurt, or all that was going on inside of her. She was afraid they could see. That the whole world knew with one quick, simple glance all that she was feeling. Its why she most of the time avoided any eye contact, even those she was closest to. She feared people could see what was stirring with in her. That she was insecure, inept and broken. She was afraid that they could see the secret that developed more with each passing day. She kept looking. Looking into her eyes. That if maybe she looked long, and deep enough they would give some answer to the unrelenting questions as to who she was, and Who she was supposed to be. Neither of these she had an answer too. All she knew was she wanted to change. Wanted to hide the feelings ceiled with in her. The emotions that never let up. As tears streamed down her face and engulfed her eyes. The image she saw before her became imprecise, and blurred. She liked it that way. She couldn’t see herself. It was a more accurate depiction because honestly, she didn’t even know who she was supposed to see. She didn’t know who she was, or who she was meant to be She sat on that tan floor for hours. Tears streaming down her pale skin until her eyes turned bloodshot from the pain, and confusion with in her. She sat in complete silence until the sound of the rain lulled that beautiful lost girl to sleep.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Its funny isn't it...
Its funny isn't it. how we search for so long for something true to come along.
for something to happen that You can't explain
for that Someone... that makes you feel so alive
who doesn't take your breath away like everyone says
but He gives you a reason to breath.
I don't believe in love at first sight.
but you can feel an instant longing for them.
and that was there.
the countless months, the attatchment grew
the conversations lengthened. and it became more real
its funny isn't it...
how you think everything is fine until you meet them
and than you can't seem to remember what it was like before.
you remember everything since the day you met him though
down to exactly what he was wearing. well I do anyway
I remember the feeling, of everything the first time I saw him, the first time he said I miss you, the first time he broke my heart, and the first time we kissed.
They didn't go in the normal order but it didn't matter.
Our love was disfunctional.
but it was ours. so it didn't matter. I loved it anyway
some say it isn't worth the tears. but how do you know its real if you never cry.
I knew it was
I always knew...
I knew the way I'd stare at the clocks dreading the way the always seemed to whirl faster and faster
they would laugh at me ticking away showing pretty soon he'd have to leave and I just sit there
smiling remembering how great that night was
its funny isn't it...
that with each increasing day, I wanted him more.
talking for hours about nonsense. and laughing harder than ever before.
he understood me. unlike anyone else. and I understood him. the way he
would paint a picture and make his words flow almost melodically.
it was beautiful and it captured my attention
I remember the way I was afraid of my new school. I wished he would be going their with me. I wished everday we lived in the same town not 40 minutes away.
he sent me off with the words of Sarah, be yourself people will love you.
how... I asked in my worried tone
because your charismatic.
its funny isn't it.
how that made me smile more than any other compliment
how I craved just to hear his voice. to see his face.
I was shy in some aspects when he tried to get close
its funny isn't it ...
how he loved it. how he loved to watch me squirm
he would get close as if he was going to kiss my cheek just to watch me turn bright red
and shake.
I got goosebumps and everything.
and instead of him asking why I was soo "prude" he's laugh and watch me do it over and over again
he loved it.
and he made me feel comfortable.
and when we finally kissed.
I pray that anyone feels the way it does. when its innocent and sweet. and been anticipated for months.
I almost died. I turned redder than imaginable I could feel it and he just held me and whispered how adorable it was.
Its funny isn't it...
how the person who can make you the happiest.
can make you the saddest
its funny isn't it...
how, you finally are with him.
and he's taken from you
its funny isn't it...
how 6 month later you sit in your bed
remember the days he played piano for you
laughed with you
staring at the pictures
and the concerts and the times
its funny isn't it..
that you can wake up just like every other day and grab a shirt
but when you realize which one you grabbed you remember what happened the day you wore it with him
its funny isn't it...
that when he told you he loved you...
it was after you knew you could never be with him again
lifes funny that wayy isn't it?
for something to happen that You can't explain
for that Someone... that makes you feel so alive
who doesn't take your breath away like everyone says
but He gives you a reason to breath.
I don't believe in love at first sight.
but you can feel an instant longing for them.
and that was there.
the countless months, the attatchment grew
the conversations lengthened. and it became more real
its funny isn't it...
how you think everything is fine until you meet them
and than you can't seem to remember what it was like before.
you remember everything since the day you met him though
down to exactly what he was wearing. well I do anyway
I remember the feeling, of everything the first time I saw him, the first time he said I miss you, the first time he broke my heart, and the first time we kissed.
They didn't go in the normal order but it didn't matter.
Our love was disfunctional.
but it was ours. so it didn't matter. I loved it anyway
some say it isn't worth the tears. but how do you know its real if you never cry.
I knew it was
I always knew...
I knew the way I'd stare at the clocks dreading the way the always seemed to whirl faster and faster
they would laugh at me ticking away showing pretty soon he'd have to leave and I just sit there
smiling remembering how great that night was
its funny isn't it...
that with each increasing day, I wanted him more.
talking for hours about nonsense. and laughing harder than ever before.
he understood me. unlike anyone else. and I understood him. the way he
would paint a picture and make his words flow almost melodically.
it was beautiful and it captured my attention
I remember the way I was afraid of my new school. I wished he would be going their with me. I wished everday we lived in the same town not 40 minutes away.
he sent me off with the words of Sarah, be yourself people will love you.
how... I asked in my worried tone
because your charismatic.
its funny isn't it.
how that made me smile more than any other compliment
how I craved just to hear his voice. to see his face.
I was shy in some aspects when he tried to get close
its funny isn't it ...
how he loved it. how he loved to watch me squirm
he would get close as if he was going to kiss my cheek just to watch me turn bright red
and shake.
I got goosebumps and everything.
and instead of him asking why I was soo "prude" he's laugh and watch me do it over and over again
he loved it.
and he made me feel comfortable.
and when we finally kissed.
I pray that anyone feels the way it does. when its innocent and sweet. and been anticipated for months.
I almost died. I turned redder than imaginable I could feel it and he just held me and whispered how adorable it was.
Its funny isn't it...
how the person who can make you the happiest.
can make you the saddest
its funny isn't it...
how, you finally are with him.
and he's taken from you
its funny isn't it...
how 6 month later you sit in your bed
remember the days he played piano for you
laughed with you
staring at the pictures
and the concerts and the times
its funny isn't it..
that you can wake up just like every other day and grab a shirt
but when you realize which one you grabbed you remember what happened the day you wore it with him
its funny isn't it...
that when he told you he loved you...
it was after you knew you could never be with him again
lifes funny that wayy isn't it?
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
My Crazy, Sarcastic, Deep, Witty, Best Friend
I'm at a loss of words
or at least an idea of what I should blog
soley on today...
but I think i'm gonna talk a little about my best friend
and shout at a thanks.
My Best Friend
in the midst of all the choas and petty drama known as highschool we manage to never fight,
Her giant beanbag up in her lofty room is a haven in which we can escape our problems and lets be honest open up a big bottle of bitch about the people in our lives. we confide in eachother. i'm never afraid of judgement or that she'll lie. she will be brutally honest. in which i'm forever thankful for.
The late night raps, and icecream, and shoe paintings. define our friendship...
random.
its never boring. and she is ALWAYS there for me.
She is one of the girls who doesn't exactly realize how fantastic she truely is.
between the constant witty banter and sarcastic comebacks.
our friendship is full of humor and spazz
And lets not forget the fact that we'll stay up late into the hours of the morning talking
speaking, of deep thoughts and hurt that we refuse to tell anyone else.
normally ending up with tears streaming down our face. I know she's there.
she's there ready to answer the phone, when something horrible happens.
to tell me it will get better. not that it will be okay. when we both know it truely
wont.
she stand there and lets me release all the pent up hurt as I throw my math book to the ground
or just sit there in silence because I'm too sad to speak. she cheers me up.
she'll make some remark simply as too DAMN him... DAMMMMNN him DAMN IT!
and thats enough to make me smile. and laugh.
the stories I could tell of our fun times. of our bond that grows with each day.
I'm so thankful for her. and for what she does for me.
I thank God everday that I have a Bestfriend like her.
and... I Hope maybe she reads this and knows she's loved.
and for all you. out there. who have a friend like this.
make sure you appreciate them.
and all those who are still searching...
just know they're trying to find you too.
because when you find your true best friend.
you form a bond tighter than sisters.
because no one will understand you like they do.
and too my best friend...
I LOVE YOU BUDDY!
or at least an idea of what I should blog
soley on today...
but I think i'm gonna talk a little about my best friend
and shout at a thanks.
My Best Friend
in the midst of all the choas and petty drama known as highschool we manage to never fight,
Her giant beanbag up in her lofty room is a haven in which we can escape our problems and lets be honest open up a big bottle of bitch about the people in our lives. we confide in eachother. i'm never afraid of judgement or that she'll lie. she will be brutally honest. in which i'm forever thankful for.
The late night raps, and icecream, and shoe paintings. define our friendship...
random.
its never boring. and she is ALWAYS there for me.
She is one of the girls who doesn't exactly realize how fantastic she truely is.
between the constant witty banter and sarcastic comebacks.
our friendship is full of humor and spazz
And lets not forget the fact that we'll stay up late into the hours of the morning talking
speaking, of deep thoughts and hurt that we refuse to tell anyone else.
normally ending up with tears streaming down our face. I know she's there.
she's there ready to answer the phone, when something horrible happens.
to tell me it will get better. not that it will be okay. when we both know it truely
wont.
she stand there and lets me release all the pent up hurt as I throw my math book to the ground
or just sit there in silence because I'm too sad to speak. she cheers me up.
she'll make some remark simply as too DAMN him... DAMMMMNN him DAMN IT!
and thats enough to make me smile. and laugh.
the stories I could tell of our fun times. of our bond that grows with each day.
I'm so thankful for her. and for what she does for me.
I thank God everday that I have a Bestfriend like her.
and... I Hope maybe she reads this and knows she's loved.
and for all you. out there. who have a friend like this.
make sure you appreciate them.
and all those who are still searching...
just know they're trying to find you too.
because when you find your true best friend.
you form a bond tighter than sisters.
because no one will understand you like they do.
and too my best friend...
I LOVE YOU BUDDY!
Friday, March 5, 2010
while I should be learning about.... instead I blog
So, currently i'm sitting in the lab during creative cuisine and instead of learning about authentic midwestern food. I decided i'd rather do this. My creative cuisine class has some interesting people in it. one, is awesome, and we also have aut together. she's hilarious and always has a new story to tell that always ends with alot of laughter. the other is sarcastic and is at the moment about to hit me if she can't read this. she always is hiding things from us and teaching us new vocabulary. at least whatever the other girl forgot to tell us all about. most of which the first girl and I wish not to know. but however she is always ready to tell us anyway. The constant banter and witty come backs make this class fun. not that learning about table manners, and anatamy of an egg isn't just a blast and a half.
the weather today is so lovely. okay yea i'm seriously going to talk about the weather. but honestly step outside its amazing. well at least here it is. next I have honors Algebra two which is the death of my happy soul. as you might have noticed most of my blogs are so random. i'm slightly a random person.
today is blessed friday, hear the hallalujah chorus! however I have no idea... what I will do. but Spontaneity is the best anyhow. however tomorrow. will be work:) yea. i'm always excited for that. then I'm going to take my hilarious, claustrophobic friend to a friend of mines screamo concert at cici's pizza. haha. I can't wait to see the reaction from a girl whose definition of "hard music" is one of taylor swifts fast songs. but she assured me if there is pizza she'll be happy. I just want to document her reaction. due to the fact I am more than sure it will be priceless.
My best friend.... wait. she needs a whole blog dedicated to herself. so that will be later:) but I do love her. rest be assured
the weather today is so lovely. okay yea i'm seriously going to talk about the weather. but honestly step outside its amazing. well at least here it is. next I have honors Algebra two which is the death of my happy soul. as you might have noticed most of my blogs are so random. i'm slightly a random person.
today is blessed friday, hear the hallalujah chorus! however I have no idea... what I will do. but Spontaneity is the best anyhow. however tomorrow. will be work:) yea. i'm always excited for that. then I'm going to take my hilarious, claustrophobic friend to a friend of mines screamo concert at cici's pizza. haha. I can't wait to see the reaction from a girl whose definition of "hard music" is one of taylor swifts fast songs. but she assured me if there is pizza she'll be happy. I just want to document her reaction. due to the fact I am more than sure it will be priceless.
My best friend.... wait. she needs a whole blog dedicated to herself. so that will be later:) but I do love her. rest be assured
Monday, March 1, 2010
oh so many thoughts.
well. since i have failed to blog lately. this blog will be sparadic, and scatterbrained. and very imformative.
stage one: the play
my play was this weekend. performing as you like it in the 60's theatre is such a beautiful thing. so freeing, the adranaline rush. its uncomparable. between the bright lights, make up, and unforgetable people. this play turned out to be one i'll always remember. late at night afterwards i received a text from my other brother. he's 18 so this was highly unexpected. it stated, Sarah, you were amazing tonight, i've never seen any one so genuinely happy in my entire life as I saw you after your play. its amazing seeing you like that. don't ever stop okay?
that one simple text meant so much to me. almost brought tears to my eyes. (p.s. i hardly cry)
but, anyway. it meant alot and the play was simply amazing...
stage two: work
work, some people cringe at the word but i find myself smiling. I adore going to work. I love the people I work with. and the people I meet. The laughs, the memories, and I get paid. how much better could it get. this weekend we had a contest. and somehow i managed to win. selling the most 50 or over dollar purcheses. between the witty banter, the hidden notes, and getting paid... work has become a safe haven for me. escaping the drama of highschool. seeing that I work with all college people. however. every safe haven at one point most be infected..... by SOMEONE. but thats where i'll stop...
stage three: math
okay, I know math is necessary. but first off. for all you reading this who havn't reached H algebra two. i wanna let you know. when your teacher tells you that you can NOT find the square root of a negative number.... THEY ARE LIEING they will make you do it. see you find imaginary numbers. the point. don't ask me. and since when is the difinity of 6 to the square root of 349 over 7 to the 62 power. an answer i mean really. what are you gonna do with that. NOTHING! its so pointelss
I'm also entering a writing contest... which i'm rather excited for. 55% of entries get published. the pressure is on! i'm going through the process of selecting a piece than putting it under heavy analyzation and editing. to make sure its perfect!
sorry. the next blog will have more of a point just wanted to let everyone know i'm still alive!
stage one: the play
my play was this weekend. performing as you like it in the 60's theatre is such a beautiful thing. so freeing, the adranaline rush. its uncomparable. between the bright lights, make up, and unforgetable people. this play turned out to be one i'll always remember. late at night afterwards i received a text from my other brother. he's 18 so this was highly unexpected. it stated, Sarah, you were amazing tonight, i've never seen any one so genuinely happy in my entire life as I saw you after your play. its amazing seeing you like that. don't ever stop okay?
that one simple text meant so much to me. almost brought tears to my eyes. (p.s. i hardly cry)
but, anyway. it meant alot and the play was simply amazing...
stage two: work
work, some people cringe at the word but i find myself smiling. I adore going to work. I love the people I work with. and the people I meet. The laughs, the memories, and I get paid. how much better could it get. this weekend we had a contest. and somehow i managed to win. selling the most 50 or over dollar purcheses. between the witty banter, the hidden notes, and getting paid... work has become a safe haven for me. escaping the drama of highschool. seeing that I work with all college people. however. every safe haven at one point most be infected..... by SOMEONE. but thats where i'll stop...
stage three: math
okay, I know math is necessary. but first off. for all you reading this who havn't reached H algebra two. i wanna let you know. when your teacher tells you that you can NOT find the square root of a negative number.... THEY ARE LIEING they will make you do it. see you find imaginary numbers. the point. don't ask me. and since when is the difinity of 6 to the square root of 349 over 7 to the 62 power. an answer i mean really. what are you gonna do with that. NOTHING! its so pointelss
I'm also entering a writing contest... which i'm rather excited for. 55% of entries get published. the pressure is on! i'm going through the process of selecting a piece than putting it under heavy analyzation and editing. to make sure its perfect!
sorry. the next blog will have more of a point just wanted to let everyone know i'm still alive!
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