A Fable.

I thought I'd start today's Blog with a poem.
Its entitled A fable, A tale.
I won't tell you exactly what I was talking about. Due, to the
fact of its up for your own interpretation, thoughts, and
discoveries, however, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it,
and its content. enjoy....?




I lie in bed and watch the rain fall from the desperate sky
Staring through the transparent glass seeing into your lies
Behind those striking eyes of yours you seem to believe
That you never cared, you never once wanted me
That day you said you did, those eyes of yours told a tale
A fable so true to me I never suspected it wasn’t real.
I get caught by your haunting gaze that captures in my thoughts
I wish, that I could overt my eyes but no my heart is caught
Caught between your smile and your inconsistent words
Words that control me, words so desperate to be heard
I sit and listen carefully praying they’ll be spoken
Because when it becomes silent I know I have awoken
You’ve always been a dream to me, that one day you’ll be mine
But when that day comes maybe then I’ll come to find
That once again I’ve been mislead down your fable tale
The one I’ve always wanted, the one that never will be real.



endddd:

Why is it so many a time we fall for it, fall for everything.
why is it that the can convince you anything, with their eyes.
They'll look into you deep, penatrating the wall you built so strategically
to shut Them out, untilt they are deamed safe.
yea, well. So many people, Know how to misuse their eyes.
Almost to a sickening point.
they know how to minapulate you, into commiting acts you never intended to do.
to believing lies.
and most of all, they know how to use them to make you fall in love.
even, if they're never willing too fall in love back,or never have the intention
too anyway.
I know at this point, to of you few that are reading
your doing one of two things
a. your agreeing because you know exactly what I mean unfortunately.
or
b. Your wondering just quite how cynical I am.
To those of you thinking b. Just, know that this is my thoughts, my deep ones. and I truely do enjoy life.
yes, its filled with some horrible things, but, for the most part, I adore it.
What you have to remember. is for me at least.

"I don't wish for a perfect life, because the mundaneous of it all, would kill me before any hard, difficult time would"
i said that one day. and ever since than. thats what I live by
I remember that without the bad times. The good ones wouldn't be half as sweet.

Point being, looks, are haunting. they'll be embedded in your memory, for a lifetime. more than words, or names, or memories. but trust me you'll remember countless gazes in your lifetime.
just be careful who you give the power to embed them too.


Thoughts?

When Does Time Stop?

When does time stop?
I mean ultimately we know the answer is never.
due to its impossibility.
but, with every lifetime there are countless, encounters and moments That it seems to. or you wish it too.
However, Now I find myself not in the moment wishing it, I just wish I could go back and relive it like a broken record. and I know that the magic, or power of that moment wouldn't ever subside.
I lie awake dreaming. yes, Not when i'm asleep, when i'm asleep i'm haunted by thoughts and fact, that it can never occur, my subconcious thoughts over power my hatred for those dreams. and they just continue.
So, I just lie awake and remember.
sometimes, they try to run away.
The memories try to escape, to tell me that it never happened.
I lie there grasping trying to retain them. trying to hold on to them so tightly wanted to scream, don't leave me. Because, there will be times that all you will have are the memories.
and I will hold them so close, that they will never escape.

or become distorted.

Sometimes when tragedy, strikes you wish time would stop.
I know after my car wreck time passed so quickly 2 hours seemed like
five minutes, granted this was due to the commotion and choas that was just held. but still. it happened.

that was my closest encounter to time stopping
because for me, the beautiful moments, my best moments in life. the
kind that make life beautiful and worth while, pass to quickly

sometimes, I need time to stop. Because honestly, i'm not ready to move on. I need time to cease so I can regain myself, compose myself, and than let me move on

But, while I sit and wish and dwell on the tragedy that had just entered my life.
I feel like the whole world should stop and mourn with me.
That what had just happened, isn't right, or fair,
and the fact that people all over right now are laughing, living, and experiencing possibly the greatest moment in their life isn't right. it just doesn't seem that way.
At the loss of my friend this past weekend, i still returned to work, trying to distract myself
from the loss that I had just experienced.
She is whole,
we a broken.
ironic.
that when she was dieing.
she taught us all how to live.
she was an inspiration and the loss of her. I prayed, and pleed that time would stop as I was
curled under my blankets, that time should stop. But, it wouldn't
The clock just ticked tauntingly next to me. refusing to fufill my plea

But, now. I will live. I will await those precious most that seem to pass to quickly.

question of the day:
why is it someone 'you used to spend hours on end talking to with ease, now you struggle to hold a conversation for more than 30 seconds...
bc I don't understand


Random Fact of the Day:
today, I bought fruit:D and i'm rather excited I just thought you should know.


Poem of the day:
An image. My image.
I stare at an image so serene and clear
It brings water to my eyes, one crystal like tear
Its just a boy and girl, on a path
.I quietly walk behind not daring to pass.
Because as I watch them walk along
I watch her realize he would never do her wrong
.In a moment I finally realize that I’m that girl
With this my complex mind starts to whirlIf that’s me and that’s you.
How am I watching from this point of view
I’m watching from a distance I can’t interrupt
I watch us walk but stop so abrupt
I watch him slowly stroke my face
I want to experience this moment let me stand in my place
His lips slowly part he mouths a some words or two
I listen quietly to hear my simple reply I love you.
And that moment a tear slid down my skin
I realized this happened already I’m reliving it again
I hear my name called. Than followed by pay attention
Just a quick sweet remembrance that failed to mention
The part when we had to utter goodbye
.I watched him walk away through my glazed eyes
.But sure enough the next day he came again
Stared into my eyes. I was lost in him.

my thoughts.

I
can
Not
Take
my family
any
longer.

An Accurate Depiction

sooo, this is a story.
That I wrote.
please tell me your thoughts or oppinions, thank you. :)








It was two o’clock in the morning on a Tuesday night and she sat on her tan carpeted floor hardly stirring at all. She sat there alone. It didn’t matter how late it was, she couldn‘t manage to close her eyes and silence the thoughts that pounded inside her head repetitively, long enough to fall asleep. She was exhausted in everyway, physically, emotionally, and mentally. But it didn’t matter she couldn’t sleep. She stared at her clear, still image in that mirror. That mirror that leaned against her wall, With notes and doodles taped along the edges that her and her friends had drawn during the countless hours they spent at school. A paper thin layer of dust covered the reflecting glass. She lifted her arm enveloped in her long dark blue sleeve and wiped it off. Seeing clearer the reflection it held. Did everyone else see what she did? Did they see the reflection before her? She reached out as to touch the person that was displayed before her eyes. Wishing she could change what she saw. If she could just alter it in almost ever way. At this she scooted closer to the mirror that emulated her image. Learning in till her face was only inches away from the mirror. She stared intensely at her own eyes. At what they held. She watched them slowly be covered with a layer of pent up water. Tears that she had been holding back for months. She didn’t ease up her gaze as the water increased and escaped those hazel eyes of hers. She wondered if everyone could see her weakness, hurt, or all that was going on inside of her. She was afraid they could see. That the whole world knew with one quick, simple glance all that she was feeling. Its why she most of the time avoided any eye contact, even those she was closest to. She feared people could see what was stirring with in her. That she was insecure, inept and broken. She was afraid that they could see the secret that developed more with each passing day. She kept looking. Looking into her eyes. That if maybe she looked long, and deep enough they would give some answer to the unrelenting questions as to who she was, and Who she was supposed to be. Neither of these she had an answer too. All she knew was she wanted to change. Wanted to hide the feelings ceiled with in her. The emotions that never let up. As tears streamed down her face and engulfed her eyes. The image she saw before her became imprecise, and blurred. She liked it that way. She couldn’t see herself. It was a more accurate depiction because honestly, she didn’t even know who she was supposed to see. She didn’t know who she was, or who she was meant to be She sat on that tan floor for hours. Tears streaming down her pale skin until her eyes turned bloodshot from the pain, and confusion with in her. She sat in complete silence until the sound of the rain lulled that beautiful lost girl to sleep.