Its funny isn't it...

Its funny isn't it. how we search for so long for something true to come along.
for something to happen that You can't explain
for that Someone... that makes you feel so alive
who doesn't take your breath away like everyone says
but He gives you a reason to breath.
I don't believe in love at first sight.
but you can feel an instant longing for them.
and that was there.
the countless months, the attatchment grew
the conversations lengthened. and it became more real
its funny isn't it...
how you think everything is fine until you meet them
and than you can't seem to remember what it was like before.
you remember everything since the day you met him though
down to exactly what he was wearing. well I do anyway
I remember the feeling, of everything the first time I saw him, the first time he said I miss you, the first time he broke my heart, and the first time we kissed.
They didn't go in the normal order but it didn't matter.
Our love was disfunctional.
but it was ours. so it didn't matter. I loved it anyway
some say it isn't worth the tears. but how do you know its real if you never cry.
I knew it was
I always knew...
I knew the way I'd stare at the clocks dreading the way the always seemed to whirl faster and faster

they would laugh at me ticking away showing pretty soon he'd have to leave and I just sit there
smiling remembering how great that night was

its funny isn't it...
that with each increasing day, I wanted him more.
talking for hours about nonsense. and laughing harder than ever before.
he understood me. unlike anyone else. and I understood him. the way he
would paint a picture and make his words flow almost melodically.
it was beautiful and it captured my attention

I remember the way I was afraid of my new school. I wished he would be going their with me. I wished everday we lived in the same town not 40 minutes away.
he sent me off with the words of Sarah, be yourself people will love you.
how... I asked in my worried tone
because your charismatic.
its funny isn't it.
how that made me smile more than any other compliment
how I craved just to hear his voice. to see his face.
I was shy in some aspects when he tried to get close

its funny isn't it ...
how he loved it. how he loved to watch me squirm
he would get close as if he was going to kiss my cheek just to watch me turn bright red
and shake.
I got goosebumps and everything.
and instead of him asking why I was soo "prude" he's laugh and watch me do it over and over again
he loved it.
and he made me feel comfortable.
and when we finally kissed.
I pray that anyone feels the way it does. when its innocent and sweet. and been anticipated for months.
I almost died. I turned redder than imaginable I could feel it and he just held me and whispered how adorable it was.

Its funny isn't it...
how the person who can make you the happiest.
can make you the saddest

its funny isn't it...
how, you finally are with him.
and he's taken from you

its funny isn't it...
how 6 month later you sit in your bed
remember the days he played piano for you
laughed with you
staring at the pictures
and the concerts and the times

its funny isn't it..
that you can wake up just like every other day and grab a shirt
but when you realize which one you grabbed you remember what happened the day you wore it with him

its funny isn't it...
that when he told you he loved you...
it was after you knew you could never be with him again

lifes funny that wayy isn't it?

My Crazy, Sarcastic, Deep, Witty, Best Friend

I'm at a loss of words
or at least an idea of what I should blog
soley on today...
but I think i'm gonna talk a little about my best friend
and shout at a thanks.

My Best Friend
in the midst of all the choas and petty drama known as highschool we manage to never fight,
Her giant beanbag up in her lofty room is a haven in which we can escape our problems and lets be honest open up a big bottle of bitch about the people in our lives. we confide in eachother. i'm never afraid of judgement or that she'll lie. she will be brutally honest. in which i'm forever thankful for.

The late night raps, and icecream, and shoe paintings. define our friendship...
random.
its never boring. and she is ALWAYS there for me.
She is one of the girls who doesn't exactly realize how fantastic she truely is.
between the constant witty banter and sarcastic comebacks.
our friendship is full of humor and spazz
And lets not forget the fact that we'll stay up late into the hours of the morning talking
speaking, of deep thoughts and hurt that we refuse to tell anyone else.
normally ending up with tears streaming down our face. I know she's there.
she's there ready to answer the phone, when something horrible happens.
to tell me it will get better. not that it will be okay. when we both know it truely
wont.
she stand there and lets me release all the pent up hurt as I throw my math book to the ground
or just sit there in silence because I'm too sad to speak. she cheers me up.
she'll make some remark simply as too DAMN him... DAMMMMNN him DAMN IT!
and thats enough to make me smile. and laugh.
the stories I could tell of our fun times. of our bond that grows with each day.

I'm so thankful for her. and for what she does for me.
I thank God everday that I have a Bestfriend like her.
and... I Hope maybe she reads this and knows she's loved.
and for all you. out there. who have a friend like this.
make sure you appreciate them.
and all those who are still searching...
just know they're trying to find you too.
because when you find your true best friend.
you form a bond tighter than sisters.
because no one will understand you like they do.
and too my best friend...
I LOVE YOU BUDDY!

while I should be learning about.... instead I blog

So, currently i'm sitting in the lab during creative cuisine and instead of learning about authentic midwestern food. I decided i'd rather do this. My creative cuisine class has some interesting people in it. one, is awesome, and we also have aut together. she's hilarious and always has a new story to tell that always ends with alot of laughter. the other is sarcastic and is at the moment about to hit me if she can't read this. she always is hiding things from us and teaching us new vocabulary. at least whatever the other girl forgot to tell us all about. most of which the first girl and I wish not to know. but however she is always ready to tell us anyway. The constant banter and witty come backs make this class fun. not that learning about table manners, and anatamy of an egg isn't just a blast and a half.

the weather today is so lovely. okay yea i'm seriously going to talk about the weather. but honestly step outside its amazing. well at least here it is. next I have honors Algebra two which is the death of my happy soul. as you might have noticed most of my blogs are so random. i'm slightly a random person.


today is blessed friday, hear the hallalujah chorus! however I have no idea... what I will do. but Spontaneity is the best anyhow. however tomorrow. will be work:) yea. i'm always excited for that. then I'm going to take my hilarious, claustrophobic friend to a friend of mines screamo concert at cici's pizza. haha. I can't wait to see the reaction from a girl whose definition of "hard music" is one of taylor swifts fast songs. but she assured me if there is pizza she'll be happy. I just want to document her reaction. due to the fact I am more than sure it will be priceless.

My best friend.... wait. she needs a whole blog dedicated to herself. so that will be later:) but I do love her. rest be assured

oh so many thoughts.

well. since i have failed to blog lately. this blog will be sparadic, and scatterbrained. and very imformative.

stage one: the play
my play was this weekend. performing as you like it in the 60's theatre is such a beautiful thing. so freeing, the adranaline rush. its uncomparable. between the bright lights, make up, and unforgetable people. this play turned out to be one i'll always remember. late at night afterwards i received a text from my other brother. he's 18 so this was highly unexpected. it stated, Sarah, you were amazing tonight, i've never seen any one so genuinely happy in my entire life as I saw you after your play. its amazing seeing you like that. don't ever stop okay?
that one simple text meant so much to me. almost brought tears to my eyes. (p.s. i hardly cry)
but, anyway. it meant alot and the play was simply amazing...

stage two: work
work, some people cringe at the word but i find myself smiling. I adore going to work. I love the people I work with. and the people I meet. The laughs, the memories, and I get paid. how much better could it get. this weekend we had a contest. and somehow i managed to win. selling the most 50 or over dollar purcheses. between the witty banter, the hidden notes, and getting paid... work has become a safe haven for me. escaping the drama of highschool. seeing that I work with all college people. however. every safe haven at one point most be infected..... by SOMEONE. but thats where i'll stop...

stage three: math
okay, I know math is necessary. but first off. for all you reading this who havn't reached H algebra two. i wanna let you know. when your teacher tells you that you can NOT find the square root of a negative number.... THEY ARE LIEING they will make you do it. see you find imaginary numbers. the point. don't ask me. and since when is the difinity of 6 to the square root of 349 over 7 to the 62 power. an answer i mean really. what are you gonna do with that. NOTHING! its so pointelss


I'm also entering a writing contest... which i'm rather excited for. 55% of entries get published. the pressure is on! i'm going through the process of selecting a piece than putting it under heavy analyzation and editing. to make sure its perfect!

sorry. the next blog will have more of a point just wanted to let everyone know i'm still alive!

Mood swing

well, this morning started with me waking up far to late racing to school and trying to get math checked off. which i won't explain why thats necessary you should ask my teacher. but anyway next was spanish and I got a bonus point for knowing when the treaty of paris was signed. thank you google:). but over all the day was lovely. i was just in a good mood. and you know those days when you get compliments yea there great well. me and my black long sleeve shirt black highwasted skirt (lace pattern) and bright pink tights and black fringe boots and i pink flower set in my hair. i felt rather cute. until i walk into the door at home first thing i get is glances up and down in dismay from my loving brother and sister. i want to be okay with who i am. and how i dress. because its me. and I feel me in it. but their looks honestly cut deep. i'm sick of being called the black sheep of the family. you know it just it gets old. and depressing. and sometimes frankly it just hurts. well sorry for this whine. and thank you for listening. i went from extremely happy to upset. amazing what one thing can do to you right.

what I learned today.

First and for most I want to apologize for any incorrect grammar or typos. It will happen and i'll be to unconcerned with correcting it. well today i learned two very important things. what we will first talk about was a. what it feels like to staple your finger. the answer is a mixture of laughter and pain. today while in my creative cuisine class i got in a rather heated discussion with a fellow classmate you see, she seemed for some odd reason to think that if you fail to have sex before you get married you were much more likely to have a divorse. i didn't see the logic my rebutle was half joking half serious. and i have a nasty habbit of figiting with things and the only near by was a stapler and presto. next the room filled with a scream. more of shock than pain. followed by laughter. with such a thing as stapling yourself one can't help but laugh.


b.to play magic
during the downtime at play i decided it was time i tried to learn the game that most of the theatre kids play. let me tell you. its rather confusing. with all the mythical creatures, manna, and remedies, shields and stuff i can't even begin to tell you. but it was rather fun. and tom maybe i'll actually accomplish something in the game.


and don't worry next i'll begin to post some stories and such:)

why hello there.

Why hello there,
I'm just a girl, living in this crazy world. listening to people tell me it is what it is. but young and curious I can't bring myself to believe that. I think its just a tad more complicated than that. here I will share some thoughts and stories I will write. trying to capture what the world is, or what people feel. also, some random excerpts from my life. so enjoy and feel free to share your oppinions. i'd love to hear them:)